That Mommy, she's such a pill!

When people meet me, they always say "She's SO cute." to which Mommy usually replies "Yes, but she's a PILL!" and then there is much laughing among the humans. I'll admit, it annoys me. Aren't mommies supposed to love you unconditionally, even if you ARE a pill? And besides, Mommy can be quite the pill herself sometimes!

Like potty time. So it's time for me to go potty and what does Mommy do? She says "I have to go potty first." Say WHAT? This is MY potty time! So I give her this look like "Whachu talkin' bout Willis?" and she smiles and says "First, Mommy go potty and then Missy go potty!" Like that's supposed to explain everything!!!?! And then, she doesn't just go potty quickly. No. She reads a magazine sometimes! And I'm standing there in the bathroom whining and crossing my legs and she smiles at me and says "I know you have to go potty, sweetie." Yea, well, THAT ISN'T HELPING, mommy!!!!"

Also, she got these great new doggy treats from Amazon, but she will only use them for training. Well JEEZ, they taste GREAT (they look and smell like beef jerky--YUM!), so of course I'm going to want them more often. But when I whine and go stand by the counter where they are, she says "No treats now--you haven't eaten all your dinner. Later. We'll do training later." I even sit up or jump on my hind legs and dance around to try to show her I'm willing to work for treats, but NO GO. She sticks to her guns. PILL!

She cooks all kinds of great-smelling stuff, but if she gives me ANY human food at all, it's usually all healthy stuff, like carrots, red bell pepper or apple. Of course, she DOES give me sweet potatoes and that is my most FAVORITE food. Why can't she be like those people on that dog training show she's always watching--people who let their dogs eat off their plate, sometimes even stand right on the table! Why couldn't *I* have a mommy like that? (sigh)

And lastly, and I'm sorry that this may offend those of you with delicate sensibilities, but can we talk about mommy's gas problem? I have to be touching her when we sleep and, since she sleeps on her side, sometimes I am near her hind quarters when these huge gaseous clouds will come blasting out. I mean, I love her and all, but P-U! Sometimes I have to get up and move!

Anyhow, I just wanted to set the record straight that, while I may be a pill, I am certainly not the only one in the house!